5 Things No One Told Me I’d Love About Having Teenagers
People love to warn you about the teenage years. Just wait until they’re teens! they say, with a knowing look. And sure, parenting teenagers comes with its challenges.
But what no one really talks about are the things you’ll love about this season—things that have surprised me in the best way.
Here are five things that were an unexpected surprise and that I love about having teenagers.
1. Their Humor Is Next-Level
Teenagers are hilarious. Sometimes, they don’t even realize it. The way they see the world, their quick wit, their goofy antics—there are so many moments that catch me off guard and leave me laughing until my stomach hurts. And when I lean into their humor, when I truly appreciate it, it makes life so much more fun.
2. They’re My Biggest Cheerleaders
No one told me that my teenagers would be the ones cheering me on. They encourage me to try new things, remind me not to give up, and tell me I can do it when I’m doubting myself. They’ve believed in me in ways I never expected, and that’s been one of the sweetest surprises of this stage of life.
3. Watching Them Succeed (or Try Again) Is Pure Joy
There’s nothing like watching your teenager succeed—whether it’s a big achievement or something small that matters only to them. And even when things don’t go as planned, seeing them figure out how to pivot, learn, and try again is just as rewarding.
I delight in their victories, but I also love the way they grow through challenges. No one told me how much joy I’d find in simply watching them become who they’re meant to be.
4. The Car Time Is Golden
When my teen started driving, I knew that would free up so much of my time. However, I love getting to be the passenger and getting to ride along with them.
That car time together is priceless. No distractions, just conversation—sometimes deep, sometimes silly, but always fleeting. It goes so fast. I had no idea how much I’d cherish those rides together.
Plus, when they are the ones driving you around, you don’t have to worry about them being on their cell phones and they will be so much more willing to share and open up with you.
5. My Family Has Grown Without Adding More Kids
One of the biggest surprises of having teenagers? Your family naturally expands. Their friends start showing up, and suddenly, your home is filled with even more laughter, conversations, and energy.
It’s a joy to listen to them build friendships, navigate life together, and bring new people into our world. And the best part? You get to celebrate those friendships right alongside them.
I never expected these things to be some of my favorite parts of parenting teens, but here we are.
If you’ve got teenagers, what are some unexpected joys you’ve discovered? I’d love to hear your stories. Share them in the comments below if you don’t mind. We could all learn from each other:)
Frequently Asked Questions
- What was the first thing that made you fall in love with having teenagers?
They are my babies. I was already in love with them. However, the first thing I realized is that teenagers can have such a unique way of looking at life. They’re developing their own perspectives, and you get to share experiences with them that feel so different than with little kids. It’s a wonderful shift! - Did you ever have any anxious thoughts about the teenage years?
Yes, there were plenty of anxious thoughts before my teens hit high school, during high school, and even now. But I’ve learned that, while these years can be challenging, they’re also full of rewards. Each stage—whether high school or beyond—has its own beauty. - How can I encourage my teenager in different ways?
Encouragement can look different with big kids compared to little kids. For teens, it often involves giving them space to make their own decisions while still offering support. Small gestures—like leaving a note of encouragement or having a quiet conversation—can make a huge difference.
Tips for Encouraging Your Teens
1. Listen More than You Speak
Sometimes teens just need to know they’re being heard. This doesn’t mean always offering solutions, but instead, sharing experiences and validating their feelings. This isn’t about you and what you did 25 years ago. Harsh, but true.
2. Celebrate Their God Given Talents
Whether they’re in high school or just beginning to develop their own interests, celebrate the things that make them unique. It can help them feel seen and valued.
3. Offer Support Without Overwhelming Them
There’s a fine balance between offering guidance and letting them take the lead. When your teen feels supported but not smothered, they will thrive.
Steps to Enjoying These Years
1. Let Go of Perfection
The teenage years don’t have to be perfect to be fulfilling. There will be moments of laughter, frustration, and everything in between. But through it all, your heart will burst with pride at how much they’re growing.
2. Make Time for Shared Experiences
One of the best ways to enjoy the teenage years is by sharing experiences that both you and your teen find meaningful. Whether it’s a movie night, a trip, or just a conversation, these moments are the foundation of a lasting connection.
3. Focus on the Big Picture
Teenagers aren’t always going to be the same as they were when they were little kids. They’re transitioning into adulthood, and while that brings challenges, it also brings a lot of opportunities for connection. Embrace the differences and savor the moments!
Biblical Viewpoint and Lesson
Have you ever heard the story of the Prodigal Son? There are so many different view points you can lean into and learn from.
The story of the Prodigal Son offers a powerful reflection on growth, forgiveness, and the changing dynamics of relationships. In the story, a young man leaves his father’s house, seeking independence and making mistakes along the way. His father, despite the choices his son made, welcomes him back with open arms. (Luke 15:11-32)
This story speaks volumes to the experience of parenting teenagers. As your kids grow, they’ll begin to seek their own paths, make their own choices, and, inevitably, make mistakes.
While it’s easy to feel anxious or frustrated when they stray from what you expect, the Prodigal Son reminds us of the power of grace and love. It encourages parents to be patient and forgiving, just as the father was.
A Parent’s Joy
“But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’” (Luke 15:22-24)
The father didn’t scold the son for his mistakes. Instead, he celebrated his return. Similarly, it’s important to celebrate the milestones and growth of your teen, even if they don’t always follow the path you expect. This can serve as a reminder to focus on the heart of the relationship, not just the rules or mistakes.
In the teenage years, the challenge is learning to give your child space to grow, while still offering them love and guidance. Just like the father in the parable, we can celebrate the moments when they return to us, even if they’ve wandered.
This story also brings to mind the power of forgiveness. Parenting teenagers often means navigating a series of disagreements or disappointments. But in those moments, we’re reminded to show the same grace and mercy that God shows to us—and that we should show our children.
Parental Guidance
The Prodigal Son’s return wasn’t just about forgiveness; it was about unconditional love. Teens will make mistakes, and while it’s hard to watch them stray, each misstep is a chance for them to learn, grow, and eventually come back stronger.
As parents, we can offer them guidance while also allowing room for those experiences that help shape them.
With love,
Anna Sue
