How to Be a Pre-Empty Nester & Still be a Homemaker

What is happening?!! I want to talk about how to be a pre-empty Nester and still be a homemaker. Let’s dive right in. I have a LOT to say.

Pre-empty nesting is this sort of in-between stage. The kids aren’t little anymore, but they’re not quite out the door either. You’re still raising young adults, but the house feels different – quieter some days and sometimes slower.

It’s a mix of emotions, a few deep breaths, and maybe an extra cup of warm tea. Homemaking in this season isn’t about letting go or thinking this is the end; it’s about shifting, adapting, and finding joy in the new normal.

Do You Need to Shift Your Mindset? 

I don’t know why this season felt so different to me. I had been through numerous seasons of life by the time I got to this point, but all of a sudden, I realized that my mindset that helped me to embrace every season, was the same one I needed for this season. Enjoy it and be present in it! 

It really is as simple as that, but I would love for you to read more and dig a little deeper into what I have lived and found out during this season.

So glad you are here and hope this inspires you and helps you. Let me know if you have any questions and I would love to hear from you about what you have realized during this season of life. Your wisdom may just help us all.

Extra Bit of Advice: Side Note

Call it unhealthy, but I am in no hurry to boot my boys out. They have been mostly independent for years. This transition started in high school.

I think some advice I would give you is to help them to become independent before they leave. I don’t mean independent where they don’t need anyone, I mean independent where they have learned along side of you and they have confidence to try new things. You have taught them homemaking skills, how to manage the yard, how to take care of vehicles, and how to manage money. The list goes on and on.

We weren’t meant to do life alone. There is the Trinity, Jesus and his disciples, Eve for Adam, and a variety of family units.

Pray for your adult kids to have good friends. Friends that love the Lord, love people, and will sharpen them as iron sharpens iron. It is a different stage of life for them too and having the support of Christian friends and family members is so important. 

1. What is a Pre-Empty Nester?

So, a pre-empty nester is typically someone whose children are in the late teen or young adult years, getting ready to leave home. This stage is different from parenting young children.

You’re not really helping with homework or driving them to soccer practice, you’re walking alongside them as they step into adulthood.

Maybe you have one getting ready to graduate high school, or maybe you have adult children still at home while they are taking classes and working. I think it looks a little different for everyone. 

2. What is Pre-Empty Nest Syndrome?

Pre-empty nest syndrome happens when you start to feel the emotional toll of your children becoming more independent. What does this new role look like?

You might feel a little lost or unsure about your role, or even experience sadness as the family dynamic changes. It’s normal to grieve this transition, but it’s also an opportunity to grow into a new season.

3. Reinventing Yourself as a Pre-Empty Nester

As your kids become more independent, it’s a great time to rediscover who you are outside of motherhood. Maybe you’ve put certain hobbies or passions on hold for years. Now’s the time to pick them up again, explore new activities, and focus on the other things that bring you joy.

The transition is about finding balance between letting go and embracing a new chapter. This may be the first time in a long as you can remember that you have had extra time on your hands.

Here are a few of the different ways that I have learned to fill my time in the past few years and currently:

• Learned to play the guitar.
• Started my own business. (blogging)
• Started a YouTube channel. I hope to inspire so many. I want to encourage stay-at-home moms, younger women, middle aged women, full time working women, older women, all homemakers of all ages, and even teens. 
• Continued exercising on a regular basis.
• Reading daily.
• Running farther when I go for my runs.
• Getting up earlier and spending time in the Word before anyone wakes up. 
• Joined a texting Bible Study group.
• Jeep rides with my hubby. 
• Checking out a new book at the local library. 
• Baking sourdough everything. 
• Sometime during this next year I would like to start painting. 

When the boys heard the YouTube video I was watching about how to start painting, they wanted to know what was up. I told them I was going to start painting. Ha!

They aren’t surprised when I tell them I am going to try something new. My oldest calls all these things the “I’m 40 and I don’t know what to do” things. He’s comedic timing is perfect and that statement cracked me up and has stuck with me.

These pre-empty nest experience have taught me so much and I have been able to share my love of all of them with my family.

Why YouTube & Blogging

I never took the time to be a part of any sort of social media until this last year. Literally, no Facebook, no YouTube, barely TV, no news, no social media apps, just face to face time with friends and family.

I have realized that I’m more of a creator than a consumer, but inspiring people through YouTube and my website has really helped me to fill my time during this empty nest phase.

It has been a wonderful opportunity to reach people with the most important thing, Jesus. Not every post or video is about that, but I pray and hope that His light shines through with every recipe, daily life idea, and sharing of ways to find joy in the day to day normals.

I know that He gave me this opportunity during this life stage for a reason. It has been hard work and has taken a lot of time. I have learned so much and really appreciate all those out there working to inspire and create clean, quality content for the world to feel inspired and to learn.

4. The Average Age of a Pre-Empty Nester

Typically, pre-empty nesters are in their late 40s to early 50s. It’s a time when you might feel like your family’s in between—the kids aren’t fully independent yet, but they’re pretty much there. This age range can bring reflection, new opportunities, and the chance to focus on self-care.

I use the term self-care loosely as everyone views it differently. It doesn’t take much time for self care. Keep it simple and enjoy the small things.

Enjoy the feel of a cozy blanket, take in the smell of dried lavender, use a clean and fresh smelling soap, take a short walk up and down the drive way, enjoy a hot cup of tea or coffee. You don’t have to leave the house or spend a lot of money to practice self-care. 

5. 10 Pointers for Embracing the Pre-Empty Nester Season

1. Embrace the New Normal

This season will feel different. It’s okay to acknowledge that and embrace it. As your children start becoming more independent, you’ll find new rhythms and ways of doing things at home. There’s beauty in this change, even if it feels unfamiliar at first.

2. Accept Change as a Constant

You’ve already been through many seasons of change in your life—this is just another one to embrace. Change is constant, and although it can feel uncomfortable, it’s also a chance for personal growth and renewal.

3. Remember Who You Are in Christ

You are more than just a mom. You are a daughter of the King. Your identity is grounded in Christ, and that foundation will help you navigate this season. Continue to stay in the Word, share it with your older teens or young adults, and encourage them to do the same.

4. Walk Alongside Your Teens and Young Adults

Even as your children grow older, your role isn’t over. You’re still walking beside them as they navigate adulthood. Whether they need advice or just someone to talk to, your presence and support are invaluable.

5. Realize Your Role Is Still Important

You may no longer be doing all the hands-on tasks you once did, but your role in creating an atmosphere of love, support, and guidance is just as crucial. Your presence and influence matter, even if it looks different.

6. Develop a Friendship with Your Kids

As your kids grow older, it’s time to transition your parenting role to more of a friendship. You’ll start relating to them as adults, and it’s a beautiful thing. Enjoy getting to know them in new ways and delight in watching them blossom into the people God created them to be.

7. Enjoy Time Together, But Accept That It Will Look Different

Spending time with your older teens and young adults will look different now. They have their own schedules, responsibilities, and social lives. While you’ll still have moments to connect, they may not be as frequent. Cherish those times and accept that they’ll be more intentional.

8. Continue Doing Things You Love

Even though your children are growing up, there’s no reason to stop doing what you love. Surprise them with a new cozy blanket for their bed, whip up their favorite dinner, or prepare a batch of cookies. There’s something comforting about maintaining those traditions, even as things change.

9. Offer Advice, But Point Them to the Bible

As a mom, you have wisdom to share. But sometimes, your role is simply to point your children to God’s Word. Help them navigate their questions, offering biblical truths that will guide them in their decision-making. Your advice is valuable, but God’s wisdom is even more so.

10. Practice Active Listening

Sometimes, they just need you to listen. They may not want to hear your stories or advice—they just want someone who will listen, empathize, and be present. Practicing active listening and offering empathy shows your love and support, helping them feel understood and cared for.

5 Tips for Being a Pre-Empty Nester Homemaker

Homemaking during the pre-empty nesting season is a whole new ballgame, isn’t it? It’s like one foot in the “they’re still my babies” world and one in the “they’re practically adults” world. But let’s chat about how you can keep doing what you do best—making a home. Here are five simple and light-hearted tips:

1. Make Food When It Works for You

Let’s face it: your kids’ schedules are like an unsolvable puzzle. Late practices, part-time jobs, or spontaneous plans mean guessing dinner attendance is a losing game. So, cook when it’s convenient for you. Maybe that’s 1 PM or 3 PM—whatever works. Make extra, because odds are, they’ll either bring a friend or show up hungry at the oddest hours. Bonus? Leftovers make great lunches or freezer meals for later. Oh, and if you’re feeling adventurous, now’s the time to experiment with recipes you’ve been too busy to try. Who knows? You might discover a new family favorite.

2. Let Them Do Their Share (Even If You Could Do It Faster)

Yes, you might have the time to fold their laundry or unload the dishwasher, but that doesn’t mean you should. Your older teens and young adults need to pitch in—it’s good for them, and honestly, it’s good for you too. If they need a nudge, sure, text them a list. But resist the urge to swoop in and do it yourself. Homemaking isn’t about doing it all; it’s about teaching them to contribute and showing them they’re a vital part of the household.

3. Sprinkle Some Cozy Vibes Around

Keep the home warm and inviting. Throw some soft blankets on the couch, light a candle that smells like cookies, or grab some soft light bulbs to create that golden glow. Maybe surprise them with a fluffy new pillow or blanket for their space. Small touches like these remind them your home is their sanctuary, no matter how chaotic their days get.

4. Pray and Be Present

This is the season for heartfelt prayers over your young adults. Let them know you’re praying for them and ask if there’s anything specific they’d like you to pray about. And when they’re ready to talk, listen. Like, really listen. Don’t jump in with your own stories unless they ask. Sometimes, they just need a listening ear while they snack on leftovers at 10 PM.

5. Embrace the Freedom

This season is a little freer, isn’t it? Homemaking might look different now—less cluttered and more intentional.

A weird feeling crept in when I realized I had time on my hands, GUILT. I felt guilty for being able to sit down before bed time. I acknowledged the feeling and replaced it with the mindset that I have taken on during every season of life. Contentment and presence. It was a very odd thing for me. It is actually what inspired me to start writing about this sort of thing.

Take advantage of the quieter moments to try new hobbies, reorganize that junk drawer (finally), or freshen up your space. It’s not about starting over; it’s about enjoying a new rhythm and remembering that home is where love, laughter, and maybe an extra-large casserole pan are always welcome.

Time to Be a Doer! You’ve Got This!

This season of pre-empty nesting isn’t always easy, but it’s full of opportunity. Your role as a mother is shifting, but it’s still just as vital. You are building your relationship with your children in new ways, offering support, guidance, and love as they navigate adulthood.

Embrace the changes, continue to invest in yourself, and treasure these moments as they unfold. This is a great season to be in. Embrace it!