Why Godly Friendships Matter: Finding Wise Women to Walk Through Life With

There is something powerful about having the right people around you.

The older I get, the more I realize that the people we allow into our lives can influence the direction of our thoughts, our choices, our faith, and even the people we become.

That is why godly friendships matter.

I’m incredibly grateful when I look back over my life and think about the people God placed around me. I was surrounded by parents, family members, church friends, and other believers who were walking with the Lord.

At the time, I probably didn’t fully understand the value of that.

But I do now.

Having godly influences and Christian friends around me helped me make wise decisions. It gave me people to learn from, people to talk to, and people who helped point me back toward what was true.

And that has made me think about an important question:

Who Has Access to Your Life?

Not everyone should have the same level of access to your heart.

That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t love people.

It doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be kind, welcoming, or willing to serve others.

But there is a difference between loving everyone and allowing everyone to have deep influence in your life.

The Bible repeatedly reminds us that the people we walk with matter.

“Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.” — Proverbs 13:20

And Paul wrote:

“Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character.’” — 1 Corinthians 15:33

The people around us influence us.

Their attitudes can influence us.

Their priorities can influence us.

Their beliefs can influence us.

Their words can influence us.

That is why we need to be intentional about who we allow into our closest circles.

As I’ve been studying the life of Paul and thinking about the relationships we see throughout Scripture, I have found it helpful to think about friendship and community in three different circles:

Intimacy. Influence. And ministry.

The Inner Circle: Intimacy

The smallest circle is your circle of intimacy.

These are the people who have access to the deeper parts of your life.

They know your struggles.

They know your hurts.

They know your fears.

They know the things you’re wrestling with.

And most importantly, they have permission to speak truth into your life.

These are not simply people who tell you what you want to hear.

They are people who love you enough to tell you what you may need to hear.

They are the women who can ask:

“Have you prayed about this?”

“What does God’s Word say?”

“Are you sure this is the direction the Lord is leading you?”

Sometimes love looks like encouragement.

Sometimes love looks like sitting beside someone while she cries.

And sometimes love looks like gently speaking the truth.

Proverbs 27:17 says:

“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”

That is the kind of friendship I want.

I don’t just want people around me who agree with everything I say. I want godly women who are walking closely with Jesus and who care enough about me to help me grow.

Jesus Had a Close Inner Circle

Jesus gives us a beautiful example of this.

Jesus loved people.

He ministered to crowds.

He taught His disciples.

He welcomed those who came to Him.

But He did not have the same level of closeness with every person.

In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus brought Peter, James, and John farther with Him during one of the most difficult moments before His crucifixion.

He allowed them to see His deep sorrow and asked them to stay and keep watch.

Jesus loved everyone, but He did not give everyone the same access to His life.

That can be a freeing reminder for us.

You can love people without telling everyone everything.

You can be friendly without making everyone your closest friend.

You can serve someone without allowing them to influence your deepest decisions.

And you do not need to feel guilty for being wise about who has access to your heart.

The Second Circle: Influence

The next circle is influence.

These are the people you walk alongside in everyday life.

You may not share every private struggle with them, but they are still influencing you.

You spend time together.

You talk.

You learn from one another.

You serve together.

You encourage one another.

You are doing life shoulder-to-shoulder.

And this is where we need to pay attention.

Who Is Influencing You?

Ask yourself:

• Who do I spend the most time with?
• Who do I go to for advice?
• Whose opinions carry weight in my life?
• Who influences the way I think about marriage, family, work, money, and success?
• Who influences my relationship with God?

Influence often happens slowly.

It happens through conversations.

Shared experiences.

Repeated messages.

The things we laugh about.

The things we normalize.

The things we begin to believe.

That is why Proverbs 13:20 is so important.

When we walk with the wise, we become wise.

So we should intentionally seek relationships with people who are pursuing wisdom.

Not perfect people.

None of us are perfect.

But people who genuinely love Jesus and desire to follow Him.

What Paul Teaches Us About Christian Community

One thing that stands out when you read Paul’s letters is that Paul did not do life or ministry alone.

His letters are filled with the names of people who walked alongside him.

Timothy.

Luke.

Titus.

Mark.

Tychicus.

Priscilla and Aquila.

And many others.

In 2 Timothy, written near the end of Paul’s life, we see just how personal these relationships were.

Paul speaks about people who were with him, people he wanted to see, people who served alongside him, and people who were part of his ministry.

Paul’s life was deeply connected to other believers.

That is a powerful reminder for those of us who sometimes think we can simply handle everything on our own.

We need one another.

We need people who encourage us.

People who pray for us.

People who help us remember God’s truth.

People who walk beside us through ordinary life and difficult seasons.

The Third Circle: Ministry

The third and broadest circle is ministry.

This is the larger group of people we love, serve, encourage, and point toward Jesus.

This circle may include people from church, work, your community, online, or other areas of life.

You can genuinely love and care about many people without every relationship becoming a deeply intimate friendship.

Jesus ministered to crowds.

Paul ministered to countless people.

But neither man gave every person the same access.

And I think that gives us freedom.

You do not have to be everything to everyone.

You do not have to tell everyone everything.

You can love people well while still maintaining wise boundaries.

You can be kind.

You can serve.

You can encourage.

You can pray.

And you can still be intentional about who belongs in your closest circle.

Be the Friend Who Carries Someone to Jesus

One of my favorite pictures of friendship in the Bible is found in Mark 2.

A paralyzed man had friends who wanted to get him to Jesus.

The house was crowded, and they couldn’t get through the door.

So they carried him onto the roof, made an opening, and lowered him down to Jesus.

They were determined to get their friend to the One who could help him.

What a beautiful picture of godly friendship.

Sometimes our friends need someone to sit with them.

Sometimes they need encouragement.

Sometimes they need someone to pray.

And sometimes they need someone to lovingly carry them back to Jesus.

That is the kind of friend I want to be.

And those are the kinds of women I want around me.

When life gets difficult, I don’t simply want someone who will tell me everything I want to hear.

I want someone who will say:

“Let’s pray.”

“Let’s look at what God’s Word says.”

“Let’s take this to Jesus.”

That’s what godly friendship can look like.

Not Everyone Who Says They Are a Christian Should Have Deep Influence

This is an important distinction.

Being a Christian does not mean we should expect perfection from one another.

We all fail.

We all need grace.

But we should still pay attention to the fruit in someone’s life.

Are they pursuing Christ?

Do they care about God’s Word?

Are they willing to repent?

Do they speak truth with love?

Do they encourage you toward what is good?

Or are they constantly pulling you away from the things of God?

There is a difference between loving someone and allowing them to deeply influence your life.

We can love people while still being wise.

And sometimes wisdom means recognizing that a relationship belongs in a different circle.

We Were Never Meant to Do Life Alone

Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 reminds us that two are better than one because when one falls, the other can help them up.

We need people who can help us up.

We need people who will pray when we are struggling.

We need people who will encourage us when we are discouraged.

We need people who will remind us of God’s truth when our emotions are overwhelming us.

And we need to be willing to do the same for others.

The Bible also warns us in 1 Peter 5:8 to be alert because our enemy prowls like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

We should never underestimate the importance of Christian community.

Friendship does not replace our relationship with God. Jesus is our Savior, our strength, and our ultimate source of hope.

But God often uses other believers to encourage us, strengthen us, correct us, and walk beside us.

How to Find Godly Friends

Maybe you are reading this and thinking, I don’t have those friendships.

If that’s you, don’t lose heart.

Finding godly friends sometimes requires us to take the first step.

Here are a few practical ways to begin.

1. Pray for Godly Friendships

Ask God to bring wise and faithful women into your life.

Pray for friendships that will help you grow closer to Him.

And ask Him to show you how you can become a godly friend to someone else.

2. Join Something

Join the Bible study.

Attend the women’s event.

Get involved in a small group.

Volunteer.

Show up consistently.

Relationships often grow simply because we repeatedly put ourselves in places where we can get to know people.

3. Be Willing to Make the First Move

Introduce yourself.

Send the text.

Invite someone for coffee.

Ask someone to go for a walk.

You don’t have to wait for someone else to build the friendship.

Sometimes the friendship you’re praying for begins when you are willing to take one uncomfortable first step.

4. Be the Kind of Friend You Are Looking For

If you want someone who prays for you, pray for someone else.

If you want someone who checks on you, check on someone else.

If you want someone who encourages you, become an encourager.

If you want someone who points you toward Jesus, be willing to point others toward Jesus too.

Godly friendship is not just about finding the right people.

It is also about becoming the right kind of friend.

You Don’t Need a Crowd

Sometimes we think having community means having a large group of friends.

But you don’t need a crowd.

You need godly people.

You need people who are pursuing Jesus.

People who will walk beside you.

People who will pray for you.

People who will lovingly speak truth.

People who will help carry you when you are struggling.

And people you can do the same for.

So think about your circles.

Intimacy

Who has access to the deepest parts of your life?

Who has permission to speak truth into your heart?

Influence

Who are you walking alongside?

Who is shaping the way you think and live?

Ministry

Who has God placed in your life for you to love, serve, encourage, and point toward Jesus?

Not everyone belongs in every circle.

And that’s okay.

Jesus modeled close friendship.

Paul modeled Christian community.

And Scripture continually reminds us that the people we walk with matter.

So find your women.

Walk with the wise.

Sharpen one another.

Carry one another.

And keep pointing each other back to Jesus.

More Christian Encouragement

If you’re working to grow in your faith and become the woman God has called you to be, you may also enjoy more of my posts and videos about Christian living, godly habits, purposeful living, and finding peace in everyday life.

My goal here at Keep It Simple Anna Sue is to encourage women to live faithfully and intentionally right where they are.

Because sometimes a simple conversation, a faithful friend, or a woman willing to say, “Let’s take this to Jesus,” can make all the difference.